Nefarious Films Reviews

"Day Watch" 2007

Director: Timur Bekmambetov

Writer: Timur Bekmambetov, Sergei Lukyanenko

Starring: Konstantin Khabensky, Mariya Poroshina, Vladimir Menshov, Galina Tyunina,

Following on from Night Watch, the truce between the light others and dark others is sitting on a knife’s edge. Anton, our hapless hero from the previous film, is being used as a pawn by the Dark Others to sway the balance and cause a war that could very well end the world… And only ‘The Chalk Of Destiny’ can help him. But who will reach it first?

Much has been said over the last couple of years of the Western reaction to Night & Day Watch. You see, the reason Hollywood got themselves in such a flutter with them isn’t that Night Watch and Day Watch are better than most Hollywood

 special f/x spectaculars. Sure the acting is generally better, as there aren’t as many massive egos to massage. But in terms of dialogue, interesting yet shallow plots, contrived action sequences, and MTV-style editing, Day Watch is not that much different to most other Hollywood films. No, what severely pissed Hollywood off is that Night & Day Watch achieved exactly what they do every year, but on a budget that wouldn’t even pay for Keanu Reeve’s wardrobe advisor. And that is the only reason I can think of that 20th Century Fox bought the distribution rights and then proceeded to cut the films to ribbons and release the films with very little fanfare; only word-of-mouth has kept these films afloat. Hollywood is jealous.

And that’s the first thing that everyone should remember when watching Day Watch: that Fox have deemed the Western audience too stupid, or perhaps too riddled with ADD, to enjoy the full version of the film as originally intended. Because of this, the movie is too disjointed – there appears to be important sub-plots missing. They made the same mistake with Night Watch too. There is a love story only briefly hinted at here – one which, had it been made more clear, would almost certainly have justified the actions of one of its more minor characters without you shaking your head and going “what the hell?” At least, I hope it was cut by Fox. Otherwise the director has a lot to answer for.

Yet, for all its flaws, Day Watch still somehow remains an entertaining crowd-pleaser. You see, for all its Hollywood trappings, it manages to have a style all its own. Which is strange, because Day Watch doesn’t offer us anything new in the world of film-making. Yeah, the funky subtitles are cool (and less distracting than they were in Night…) and the special f/x are, without a doubt, jaw-dropping in certain scenes, but it still suffers from the same flaws as any typical Western extravaganza. A piece of chalk that controls history? It’s like a box that can make machines come alive (see Transformers). So why is it you can’t take your eyes away from the screen? The fact that it’s a subtitled movie? No (well, maybe a bit). It’s because it somehow manages to be fun too, even though it slightly resembles a two hour-long video game commercial. Day Watch only transcends standard Hollywood fare by not being a Hollywood-made film. Ironic that it’s a Russian film – I bet McCarthy is rolling over in his grave.

Now, I’m sure there’s been something niggling you about the synopsis of Day Watch since you started reading this humble review, so I’m just gonna come right out and say it. ‘The Chalk Of Destiny’ (or, if this had Samuel L. Jackson in it, ‘The Chalk Of Motherfucking Destiny’). If the idea of a magic chunk of chalk sounds pretty silly to you, then you probably won’t enjoy this film. Because this film is pretty silly for the most part. “Hang on a bloody second!” you’re probably shouting. “’Chalk Of Destiny?’ You must be mistaken. Surely you mean ‘The Sword Of Destiny’, or maybe ‘The Sword Of Empowerment’ or ‘The Battleaxe Of Despair’ or ‘The Helmet Of Peril.’” Nope, ‘fraid not boys & girls. It’s ‘The Chalk Of Motherfucking Destiny.’ And – I’m sorry – but this film also features a yo-yo that could potentially destroy the world. Yep, there is a ‘Yo-Yo Of Much Destruction’, although thankfully it is never given a name as such (don’t believe me? You just wait). In my book, a ‘Motherfucking Apocalyptic Death Yo-Yo’ is pretty ridiculous too. So hats off to Timur Bekmambetov, who directs the film with such visual panache that you begin to forget the shortcomings, and instead concentrate on the cool factor. And this film IS cool, in the way the Matrix sequels never were – at least they got that part right. Just seen a glaringly obvious plot-hole? Never mind, just watch those cars flip up! Has the plot ceased making sense? Sod it – let’s just watch Moscow getting trashed by a giant Ferris wheel! Dialogue a bit crap? Just look at the way in which the subtitles meld in with the backgrounds! In fact, Bekmambetov – along with the cast (Konstantin Khabensky as Anton stands out once again) – is what makes the film so damn watchable. IF you can get past the whole ‘Chalk…’ thing. And you don’t mind watching a two-hour video game commercial.

Night Watch, for all its flaws, was a huge surprise for movie-lovers all around the world. It showed that Hollywood no longer had the monopoly on f/x-driven films. Day Watch quite happily reiterates this point and provides closure for the fans of the previous film that want to know what happens next. If you loved Night… then no doubt you will love Day. So watch this film for what it is – stylish vegetation fodder with enough pretty things happening on the screen that you will be able to look past the cringe-worthy plot turns. Yeah some of the subplots make little sense. I’m not even gonna mention that ending. But if you take the movie seriously, then you’ll be in for a rough ride, and you’ll miss out on all the fun that just makes this silly film worth watching.

Rating: 6/10